sweet little house

Now that my husband and I are empty nesters, we've been thinking about downsizing. We've got a traditional ranch house and it seems like we never even use half the rooms.  With the economy slow and an ever present longing for a simpler life, we've decided to put our home on the market. Kind of a bittersweet thing...there is a sentimental attachment I feel to our house because it has been our home for 9 years and we have good memories of time spent there with our kids and with friends. And little touches that my husband did just for me...beautiful wood trim work around doorways, an arbor outside my office window where a passion flower vine weaves and climbs, rock retaining walls that meander through our backyard, and trees planted that have now grown to provide a nice shade in the warmer months...all of these things I will miss.  But we both feel that the time has come and that we have found our "forever home".

We found a sweet little house in an area of San Jose known as Willow Glen -- the kind of neighborhood with tree lined streets and older houses and a downtown village. The little house, built in 1924, is perfect for us. Our plan to move depends on selling our current home, so I am now in a frenzy trying to get projects finished and boxes packed.  We are eliminating an abundance of furniture and belongsings we don't need and it feels very freeing.

I am praying that our plan will work out...still so much to be done to make this move complete.  A life changing decision that I hope will bring peace and happiness and, finally, a feeling of being settled in the place where we belong.

xo

when you were a mother...

Quite a few years ago my mom was talking to a friend of one of my brother's, and this particular young lady said to my mom, "Natalie, when you were a mother..."  My mom just laughed and stopped the conversation right there, saying, "I'm STILL a mother!!".  What the girl meant was when my mom was mothering my brother as a young boy, and it just came out wrong. We still laugh about that and sometimes when she is giving me mothering advice, my mom will start a sentence with, "Well, when I was a mother..."

mom & I at the beach

Nope, you never stop being a mother. My son has his own place now and my older step children are off on their own - one married and one engaged.  But they still rely on me to mother them, and that is fine with me. My stepdaughter calls me at least a couple times a week and sometimes we chat for a long while and we get off the phone without her even talking to her dad. My husband and I joke about this and he always says, "the kids know you're the soft touch..."


We have an empty nest now and we do enjoy it. I know my hubby likes having me all to himself. But I still think of myself as a mama and I know I always will. I've posted before about what a hard time we had with my son last year...how he is off on his own now and doing so much better and getting along quite well in school.  Last Sunday he was here for dinner and we sat up late watching t.v. and talking...this week he called and invited me over for lunch. We ate and visited and then he wanted me to just stay over and watch t.v. or read while he worked on his homework. He said, "I just like knowing you're there in the next room".


It is such a bittersweet thing to watch a child move on, grow up...and to recognize in them so much of what we went through as a young adult...wanting that independence and yet afraid of it at the same time.  To turn and recognize our own fear in the deepest part of our own "mother heart", that nagging questioning of how a person, once so small and completely dependent on us, will ever find his way in this big world. Now that the storm of last year has passed, I am tempted to say to  my son, "move back".  And yet I know that him moving on is the best thing for him.  To spread his wings and fly on his own. I am learning to have the feeling in my heart that moving on doesn't mean not landing back at the nest for a little mothering now and then - and sometimes quite often! 

with my little man when he was about the

same age as me in the photo above

Hope I'll always look back and think, "when I was a mother"...I did the best I could and I gave them the best of me and I was always, always there for them no matter how much they grew and spread their wings or questioned what the future might hold in store.

xo

bunches of goodies

There are lots of new goodies

at

Bleu Bird Nest...

          

large spring tags with a sweet Bible verse

pretty scrapbooking inspiration kits

with flowers and birds

butterfly cut-outs for scrapbooking and art projects

fragrant packets of french lavender

votive candles covered in vintage french pages and butterflies

a cottage style banner for SPRING...

bunches and baskets of goodies!

xo

spring's pink passion

i'm passionate about pink this spring...

mixing pink and white vintage dishes

pink votive candles in "dusty mexican morning"

available here

pink geraniums in hanging baskets

pink sandals from

walmart...just $10.00!

rose cottage collection

seam binding ribbon pack

available here

"Plant for the Cure" products

from Lowe's nursery

wild cherry blossom body wash by suave

...less than $2.00!

pink cherub tags

available here

feathering the nest

to me springtime brings the need to

feather the nest...

cleaning and sorting...

...organizing and polishing

for inspiration I keep some file boxes filled

with ideas I have gathered from magazines

(are you a magazin-a-holic like me?!)

the boxes are divided into categories:

home, garden, and health & beauty

I've been focused on the "home" inspiration

lately and I've been busy painting and scraping wallpaper.

I just know my arms are stronger and more defined

by now!

here are some beautiful photos from my "home" box

that have had me dreaming and scheming lately...

i love that big romantic mirror above the bed.

isn't this cozy?  I adore these colors.

I'm painting the living room this summer!

love the fresh, crispness of this dining room

and the collection on the mantel.

(photo from Country Living, 2008)

another dreamy bedroom.

love the white linens and cherub paintings above the bed.

(photo from Country Home, 2000)

love this open style vanity.

I currently have one sitting in my dining room waiting

to make its way to the hall bathroom...

(my latest project...where the wallpaper scraping

is going on!)

Do you have any plans to feather

your nest this spring??

farm fresh

sweet california organic strawberries

I used to feel guilty paying the extra for "organic" fruits and

veggies, but now that I'm taking better care of myself

I've decided I'm worth it!!

We're so blessed

to have an abundance of beautiful produce

all year round.

I picked up these berries over the weekend

at a great little fruit stand near our house.

So delicious!

If you haven't already seen it, I highly recommend

watching the dvd "food inc."

It's very informative and made

me reconsider how I choose what I choose to

put in my body.

It helped me reconsider

a lot of my food choices

and I'm feeling so much more healthy

now.

bon appetite!

xo

bloom and grow

We have the most amazing lilacs and freesias and jasmine growing in the garden right now and it all smells amazingly beautiful.

I wanted to  thank everyone who sent me well wishes and prayed for me and my bell's palsy...I'm happy to report that it is totally gone!  I feel very blessed that it only lasted 3 weeks.

Right now I am reading an amazing book called Younger Next Year for Women by Chris Crowley and Harry S. Lodge, M.D.  It is about taking better care of ourselves through

exercise and choosing to eat healthy...I know...we've heard it all before.

But this time I'm trying to really listen

and act!

I think that having bell's palsy really woke me up to the reality that

there are things I can be doing

and should be doing

to keep myself healthier. Some things may come

along no matter what we do, and we have no control over them.

But what I do have control over

(i.e. what I feed my body or how much exercise I get)

is something I want to change.

If you are like me, you've always taken care of everyone else first

and yourself last.  If you're a mom...I guess that's pretty natural.

But I am learning for the first time to actually take more time for

myself and to not feel guilty about it.

I feel my life shifting in a very good way

now that I'm in my mid-40's.

The little boy has flown out of the nest,

and so I can fill my days with more things

that are about me. Not in a selfish way, but in a way

that keeps me evolving into who I want to be,

the kind of woman I want to be,

the kind of wife I want to be,

living the life I want to live.

I feel myself blooming

and growing.

Here are some great quotes from the book...

"There's a lovely quote from Isak Dinesen that goes 'Women, when they are old enough to have done with the business of being women, and can let loose their strength, may be the most powerful creatures in the world.'  You may feel that you're never going to be 'done with the business of being a woman' -- maybe you don't want to be -- but you know what she means and you know that it's true. And nice. Very nice."

* * *

"...many women are feeling more independent, more optimistic, more powerful. Freed from lots of the caregiving, perhaps some girlish posturing and other stuff that Dineson may have had in mind, they are liberated to look at other, possibly larger, issues.  Such as themselves. Not out of selfishness, or narcicism, but out of interest."

* * *

"...few women have the luxury of wearing one lifelong robe. They slip into one role after another, juggling and doing the best they can. Few have the time to fall in love with themselves as the Great This or the Important That. And so, after whatever detours life has thrown their way, women are nowhere as likely as men to stew about what's going to happen next...women don't 'survive', they 'prevail'."

* * *

follow your heart,

know your truth,

bloom, bloom, bloom...and grow!!